Masculinism. I was quite surprised to find out the word does not exist. I guess that is probably because it has always been a “man’s world.” However given the changes in their world with rise of feminism, some men are already unknowingly searching for concept of masculinism.
Before knives are drawn I declare this isn’t an article against feminism, although like every other “ism” that has its own issues. The rise of women and the equalising effect is welcome Indeed there is still plenty of ground for women to cover in their honourable quest for equality. However in some cases there is an attempt to overtake which is confusing men as attempts to resist being subdued instigate accusations of being sexist.
MEN UNDER ATTACK
Traditionally men took care of the business of finding food, clothing and shelter for his family. As a child he was groomed towards this. In a fine balance Women managed the home and nurtured the children, grooming their children accordingly based on their genders. This was easier when life was all about farming, construction and war. In today’s capitalist world, women have rightfully found roles in every sphere of what once belonged to only men, with female urologists emerging to equate the male gynaecologist. Again this is not an issue, but there is some confusion for man who has been “softened” into housekeeping roles, whilst having to retain the brawn required for his breadwinning role. He will admit though that he can’t make enough dough for the house and is thus reliant on his wife’s support.
The challenge is with the insistence on his behaving like a woman and being told to let go of some of his traditional roles. The Pentecostal wave in Nigeria forced men to dance (like David danced, even if not emotionally charged like him) which came easily for his emotional feminine counterpart. At home there is some insistence for men not to hang with the boys and spend more time helping out. In some cases where the woman brings home the bacon, the stay home dad who grooms the family is ridiculed by the same and other women (and men). At work, sometimes an attempt to push his case strongly against feminine opposition is repelled as being ungentlemanly, while her moves to do same are cheered on for the sake of equality. Women are now been touted as being better at almost everything instead of the more accurate description of being just as good as men (true feminism seek equality not superiority). Even in the single social scene, more women are hunting down men to bed them in this game for an unnamed throne. Some men are confused and seek to react.
FIGHT LIKE A MAN
Caught in the wave of, or resistance to dwindling and suppressed testosterone levels, some men take different approaches to fighting back. The seemingly easiest way is to maintain the old status quo; work hard, drink hard, womanise hard (revenging on side chics who take their pounds, dollars and Naira of flesh), be sports crazy, resist house work, culinary duties and the like. Remain one of the boys! Some go to extremes by using religion to suppress the women and keep them “in their place”. All these moves come at a price as the increasingly vocal women resist all this, sometimes breaking the man’s resolve or with deeply fractured relationships in the wake.
Some men can’t be bothered to fight and just coast along, some submit fully and take up the traditional feminine role while some make themselves females for other men. The extreme ones change their gender altogether.
The confusion persists for the poor man.
That’s what we seek for today’s man. So what is this undiscovered term meant to be? That’s a question to be discussed as we honestly search our souls for the answer to. For sure it consists of some characteristics in today’s world:
– respect for women
– inclusivity of women in all spheres
– more involvement in home caring and building
– minimal vices or none at all
– keeping your head up and your swag on
– maintaining healthy testosterone levels
It really is not a hard balance for men and quite a lot have accepted this new order. The challenge is the rampant feminist who seeks to dominate in the war of the sexes, or who unfairly cries foul as she seeks to suppress any signs of testosterone surges (except in bed).
In summary, men must find a better balance and recognise the new world order. Some families have only female children and no man wants have his dominated and used by men. Those with male children have to teach and let their sons be brought up balanced to be a real man. He must work in the kitchen too, just like his sister is taught to change light bulbs and car tyres. Women on the other hand must realise that not all men are oppressive and a balance must be maintained. They must learn to let men be men (without their excesses) and give them the required space and mutual respect. The bible says the man is the head after God, but it seems the rib has been fully reinserted so it’s now God First and then wo(man). Tomorrow’s world’s outlook is uncertain and uncharted as marriage, homes and men are under the cosh of its change. The right adaptation and balance by masculinists and feminists is required to make that world an emotionally healthy one.